Weight Loss Attempt #984832408290

I’ve been overweight all my life. I was born fat, grew up fat, had a tumor removed from my thyroid when I was 9, stayed fat. After 23 years of being overweight, I’m still not completely OK with it. I always assumed I was naturally big, whether it was a birth defect or just my metabolism, or both — plus the fact that I don’t exercise. I’m not a sloth or anything, but I don’t hit the gym or do anything outside of my normal obligations and interests. I accepted the fact that with this lifestyle, I will never be in shape. But I would be lying if I said I want to be fat. I don’t think anyone wants to be fat. Most people — especially women — will simply come to a point where they tell themselves and others that there is nothing wrong with being overweight; it helps to deal with what they see as a failure to be thin.

But there is too much I want to accomplish before I die, so I need as much time as I can get.

When I was 16, before the Ephedra controversy, took Metabolife for 3 months. I drank weight loss shakes for lunch on most days, and ate whatever my mom cooked for dinner. I lost 30 pounds.

When school started, I stopped the diet altogether. Didn’t have time — I had band practice, homework, and a part-time job at Burger King. My parents stopped buying me the pills because the issues with Ephedra. Shortly after that I remember it being pulled from the shelves locally. I ate school lunches and would often eat dinner at work — 50% discount at Burger King. Obviously, I gained the weight back and then some. And the weight just kept coming on until college when I stopped growing. Still, losing weight in college I felt was impossible because of my schedule.

So, for the past 5 years I’ve been 6′2″ and wearing a 3XL shirt and size 46 pants (around my waist, not my stomach). I have no idea how much I weigh because scales generally don’t go that high.

Now, I’m not to the point where I’d have to buy two plane tickets, but there are two things about me that I’ve failed at changing for the last 23 years: I love to eat and I hate to exercise. I can make excuses about genes, thyroid problems, metabolism, etc., but the bottom line is that I go to fast food restaurants more than once a week, and when I get home from work I feed the dogs, cook dinner, watch TV, practice trombone, work on my novel, and go to bed. The most physical activity I get comes from playing trombone (which works up quite a sweat but doesn’t really increase my heart rate) and having sex with my wife.

Now that I am out of school and have a somewhat docile routine, I have started taking ephedrine twice a day and will start having weight loss shakes/meal bars/subway for lunch and cutting out fast food as much as I can. It helped me lose 30 pounds all those years ago, so I’m hoping I can accomplish that and more this time.

But will I exercise? To be honest, I doubt it, unless I miraculously gain the motivation to drop one of my daily activities to do something I hate to do.

Love advice with smacksfrog

Somewhere, I do an insignificant relationship advice column. I’d like to start giving more no-holds-barred advice elsewhere, and perhaps this blog would be a good start. So, starting today I am offering my relationship-advice services free of charge, anonymity intact. If you have a question, post a comment and I’ll answer it in a separate entry. If this becomes popular, I might make an e-mail account for this purpose. I don’t just give love advice, by the way. Ask me anything.

Let’s start with an old relationship question, just so you can see how I usually give advice and whether it’s worth your while.

Dear smacksfrog,

I’ve known this guy for a few years, and I consider him my best friend. He was in a relationship and recently broke up with his girlfriend who he had been dating for a year. He came to me for comfort, and I did the best friend thing of trying to give him advice and help him feel better about everything. Now, he’s decided he wants her back and believes she’s the girl he wants to marry.

Personally, I don’t think she’s worth it, and he was right for breaking up with her the first time, but that’s a different story. I’m writing to you because I think I am falling for my friend, and I want him to know it without him thinking I’m coming on too strong. But at the same time, I want him to know how I feel before he tries to pursue things with his ex again. Help!

- Girl in the Middle
Dear Girl in the Middle,

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. How long have I wanted to be more than friends with him?

2. Is it possible that my feelings for him are mostly based on the recent influx of attention he’s given me in lieu of the breakup?

3. Why was it best for him to break up with his girlfriend?

4. If he wasn’t interested in being my boyfriend, how would that affect the friendship?

5. What is the average length of my past relationships? Why did they end? Am I ready for commitment?

Question one and question two correspond. If you’ve only recently decided that you want to be with him, it’s likely that – as an available woman – you see his recent availability as an opportunity for romantic companionship. Naturally, he’s seeking comfort from his best friend, and it has been at least a year since he’s focused so much of his emotional energy on you. It’s warming to you, and I advise you to think about these circumstances first. I know it will be tempting to cross this speculation out now that I’ve mentioned it, but instead, try to be your own worst critic.

Question three is about that “different story” you mentioned in your letter. It’s not really a different story. Your opinion of his ex-girlfriend influences this situation more than anything else. A slew of subconscious feelings could be directing the progress of your relationship with this guy.

You might find yourself reaping satisfaction if you successfully prevent them from being together, or maybe you feel like she deserves to be dumped and shouldn’t get a chance to have him back. In short, there’s a reason you dislike his ex-girlfriend, likely several reasons that you don’t want say out loud. Make a list, and again, be your own worst critic.

Question four is a test of your selfishness – not that being a little selfish is a bad thing. However, it’s undeniable that your opinion of your friend will change based on his decision to either date you or get back with his ex. Will the closeness remain if he respectfully declines your advances? If not, it’s clear that you’ve put yourself in a position of powerlessness. You’ve allowed your feelings and friendship to be controlled by his ex-girlfriend.

Question five is for your friend’s benefit. Are you someone who strives for commitment, or do you date until you’re bored, or is it somewhere in between? There’s nothing wrong with any of these lifestyles, but it’s wrong to sway a person from pursuing a commitment with someone in favor of a fling with you.

Obviously, you shouldn’t be expected to immediately want to commit to him; you should, however, consider what kind of track record you have with relationships – out of fairness to your friend. If his needs aren’t compatible with your own, you are doing a disservice to your friend and yourself by jumping in the middle of his attempts to get back with his ex.

The argument you present in this situation is clear and somewhat valid: You want to be in a relationship with him, and his ex-girlfriend is not a good person and/or is not right for your friend. Logically, you deserve him, and there’s not much that will change your mind. Out of good faith, however, I’ll throw in one more wrench.

If you believe his ex isn’t right for him, and you believe you are, have you asked yourself why you’re right for him? Millions of people are in relationships that others would call unhealthy, odd or destined for failure. From my experience, a person’s decision-making process is usually universal. If he wants his ex-girlfriend back, it could be a result of codependence or fear of change. If he’s making bad relationship decisions, what makes him right for you? If he’s not interested in your type, what makes him right for you?

I know I haven’t answered your question. I have a nasty habit of doing that, but preparation is important. If you feel that you have a legitimate romantic interest in him that his unaffected by outside influences, all I can advise you to do is tell him how you feel, plain and simple, loud and clear. If he ever had an interest in you, this will probably be the moment you find out. But don’t go into this expecting to change his mind.

Gustav exposes that sagging government tit

Reimbursements are on their way — for hotels due to evacuation, food loss, lost wages due to outages at work, maybe even gas, generators, chainsaws, etc. etc. etc. etc………

Will I be reaping any of these undeserved benefits? Of course not. As a productive member of society, I work too hard and make too much money to get free money. It’s my job to contribute to the “less fortunate” so they can dangle from the nipple of our socialist government for the rest of their useless lives.

So, how Republican do you think I am? I estimate that I am about 60% Republican.

60% of me is disgusted at the idea of universal healthcare, wants more oil, wants to cut back severely on immigration, supports the death penalty and private social security, and then the rest of me supports gay marriage, stem cell research, and ending the war in Iraq (I realize this conflicts with my desire for more oil).

While it would be very difficult financially for me to leave the state at this time, I acknowledge that I live here by choice. I must face the consequences of natural disasters and do what I need to do to prepare for them. I just don’t understand why people feel so entitled to government bail-outs for something we’ve technically chosen to endure. I am not taking money for my spoiled milk, eggs, mayo, and meat. I will not demand reimbursement for my fence unless offered by my insurance company, for which I pay the premium out of my own pocket.

I’m bored with ranting about this. The bottom line is, a progressive nation is one that does not rely on its government to feed them.

God I hate this state.

Our Hurricane Gustav Damage

Maybe I understated the severity of this hurricane, but I stand by my previous comment that these trashy bastards around here really overreacted.

Or maybe I am just saying that because I have power back after only 32 hours. I do feel bad for those who are still out of power and have offered my home to friends, family, and co-workers who need a hot meal, a shower, ice, or just want to soak up some AC.

I’ve definitely gone a lot longer without power, so I know what it’s like to sit in a hot house listening to the radio. I just may buy a generator one day to run when I start to get insane. However, I was not going insane after 32 hours of no power. That’s more than I can say for some of the worthless humans in my town.

I was listening to news radio for most of the time the power was out, as it was good source of info to find out which places had power back, who was open and serving food, school closures so my wife could see whether she had to go back or not, etc. People would call in to let everyone know that Wal-Mart had reopened, or a cafe was serving hot food. And then others would call to complain. They were going nuts about the power being off, and it had been about 24 hours. Most of the people who called admitted to having generators, too. Pathetic.

Anyway, here’s what happened to my house: not much.

My back yard, full of debris.

My fence sustained some damage from a fallen limb.

Some people were not so lucky. This was taken by someone in town.

And there ya have it. Hopefully, that two weeks of food everyone was told to buy will find its way into food banks for people who deserve it more than they do.